So, it has basically been a year since I’ve written anything for this blog. I am soooo on top of things. I have about five other posts that I started and never finished. Honestly, I can only find motivation to write something if I am avoiding writing something else--but since I’m not a student anymore, there are not a whole lot of opportunities to avoid writing something.
But recently I've been working on a rèsumè and cover letter. Let me tell you, rèsumès and cover letters are the worst things ever. I hate them so much. I have to talk about how great I am when I don’t really think I’m all that great, and I have to somehow convince the reader that they should hire me without flat out begging them. It’s miserable. So I figured I should write a blog post instead of submitting my application.
This is a job that I really want and that I think will open a lot of doors for me. But I haven’t applied yet. I keep planning out the next steps, like what I’ll say in the interview, or what I should wear. But I still haven’t applied yet. I like thinking about how great it will be if I get the job. My life will be so much better if I get the job, and I can see a lot of the loose ends in my life finally coming together if I get this job. But. I STILL have not applied.
Why is that? Good question, Self. I think the most obvious reason is that I’m afraid I won’t get
Now I realize that if I don’t apply, then I most certainly will not get the job. But you see, the difference is that if I don’t apply, then they will never have the opportunity to reject me. And once again it all comes down to fear of rejection and what rejection means. If I never apply, then I will have a (very lame and pathetic) excuse for not getting the job. But if I do apply, and they still don’t hire me, well then it could only be because I am a worthless failure at the very core of my being.
That’s not true, and I know it’s not true, but sometimes I just have a really hard time believing it.
If I let fear dictate my life, then I will have to watch countless opportunities pass me by while I sit here designing my own hell. I don’t want to do that.
So here is what it comes down to: If I don’t get this job, it won’t feel great, but it also won’t be the end of the world. Learning to deal with rejection is hard. But what I need to remember--and I think everyone could benefit from this advice--is that it is not our circumstances that define us, but how we respond to those circumstances that reflect who we are. It’s never too late to change how we respond to the challenges in our lives.
I guess I’ll go ahead and submit that application now.
